Parent trap

It's really hard to remember that our parents have emotions, thoughts and dreams that don't necessarily involve us. It's too easy to assume that once a parent you abandon any and everything that doesn't revolve around your kids. I hate seeing my parents compromising between what they want and what they should do. It's not like you can divorce your children. I'm really lucky to have the parents that I have. No, they don't spoil me. Nor are they perfect. But, they do their best. They feed me. They care.They don't hit me. That sort of thing. Some people get kicked out of their house or get cut off at 18, but here I am still around--college being (or atleast partly) paid off. Some people have crazy crack addict or incarcerated parents. Mine are just a little strict. Maybe I should appreciate them more. But it's so hard when what they believe conflicts so much with my ideals. I used to think it was an American thing to deviate from the values of one's parents. But it's completely normal and universal. Things change..everywhere. Even if I never moved to America, we would still have these dumb fights about things that don't matter. Sure my family's dysfunctional but when it counts we're there for eachother...and I love that about us.


I have to try to be more understanding. It's hard to keep reminding myself of that though.

You are special <3

"...the total number of possible genetic combinations for any human mating is about 70 trillion" Physical Anthropology~ Jurmain

you are one in a trillion!

MUST TRY: being selfulfilled

hmmmmmmmmm, so this semester focusing on me. this means 4.0, no boy chasing, no drama, all good things.

wish me luck!

trying<3

MUST *NOT* TRY: EDO

I missed New York so much yesterday that me and the roommate decided to eat out. Stumbled upon this Korean owned Japanese restaurant.

I can summarize the whole experience using one syllable: eh. It was okay. I guess my expectations were too high. The service was okay. The rolls were subpar considering what I paid. The chicken teriyaki made my roommate gag. I need authentic Japanese ASAP.

the worst/weirdest part? They played Christmas music in October..in Korean?

Won't be back.

Must Try: The Nice Guy

So, I went to a party last night. Filipinos know how to have a good time. Even though in the beginning it was really awkward without music eventually it was a good time.

But the thought provoking moment was this morning. This guy, let's call him Ben*, stood at my doorstep bearing gatorades as a love offering. What a guy. I don't know what it is about nice guys but I'm always put off by guys who are over eager or just give off the too nice vibe. Honestly, I think I'm immature in the sense that I love and invite drama even in my relationships. When a bonafide jerk messes up or hurts me, then logically that makes sense and is anticipated. But, when a labeled nice guy screws up, its disheartening. It's more traumatic.

Maybe when I grow up I'll grow out of my affinity for bad guys.

Must Try: Taking Own Advice

I think this blog must be more faithful to its name and suggest things to try.

Last night, my roommate was fighting with her boyfriend. Of course, I gave her an earful of awful advice. Why is it so easy to know exactly what to do when you're no the one in the situation? Why does involvement cloud our judgement? We all know the type of guy to stay away from--that is until we ourselves fall in love with the bad guy. We all know to keep our noses out of other people's drama---but it's so much fun to watch disaster happen.

This is why I think we are the cause for 86% of all our problems. Most college kids have the rational skills to differentiate good from bad. It's just that we have self destructive tendencies. We love our tragedies. We love whining about miniscule problems. Relishing our drama, we feel as though we are entitled to attention. Relishing our drama, we feel as though we are part of the chaos in the universe.

So next time you find yourself in a predicament. Jump out of your skin. Act as though you aren't involved in this issue. And you will know exactly what to do.

Try it on.

Restless

Surprise, surprise I can't sleep tonight.

Went into the city today. Insane amounts of nostalgia and maybe regret [?] Sometimes it's better not seeing what you're leaving behind. The park looks beautiful in its full and wet glory. City kids in makeshift bathing suits romp around in a mini water park that is the fountain. Today, I saw the street performers. There was a juggler, a group of 'afrobats', and a doowoop group. The singers were good but they kept lying about this song being the last one, so people would end up putting more money into their box, aptly named 'phillip.'

This got me thinking about my antics and my gimmicks. Deny it as much as you want, but I'm convinced we all have our individual go-to roles. In psych last fall, (my memory sucks lately, forgot the researcher let alone the name) I learned about this theory wherein we all carry around with us a bag of roles. Faced with a situation, we alter our identities based upon our handy dandy kit'o'aliases in order to efficiently handle a situation. For example, in a group of urban kids, we hash up all the gangsta references we know, throw up gang symbols we don't comprehend, and metaphorically pour champagne on the daily as an homage to the fallen ones.

These stupid stupid roles are so easy to utilize that sometimes I think I use them as a crutch. They say you are who you are when no one's watching. But when no one's watching, I'm either sleeping or lying on the couch absorbing whatever is on TV. I've been called a chameleon girlfriend before, but what if I'm so sucked into the vortex of non-identity that I lack individuality outside of romantic relationships?

I don't juggle. I can't do a cartwheel. And I can't sing. If I had to perform in a park for survival, I wouldn't survive.